Impact of divorce and remarriage on intergenerational relationships Essay

Any stressful event always constitutes negative effect on an individual that experienced crisis like divorce; the experience was traumatic especially with children. Memories of a painful divorce can offer ambivalence in the child which rankles into emotional problems in adulthood. â€Å"Children of divorced parents often feel cheated of the happy intact homes in which they imagine how other children with intact parents grow up. † And this kind of feelings can be prolonged. Divorce is much more complex than it appears on the surface, ending a marriage relationship does not end in four corners of the court room. It is a series of events and negative behavior on the part of their children and also on the couples. The emotional stress that takes a period of time heal, the affection of love was alter with anger, frustration, hurt resentment and hatred. Divorced parents and children suffer from their own and others, perception that their family assemblage is deviant and inferior. Divorce and remarriage reshapes relations in the child’s immediate family. But the data from different studies revealed that marital disruption restructures the boundaries of the extended family as well. Divorce, particularly when it attenuates the link between the outside parent and child, reduces the child’s access to one line of the family. Or from the perspective of grandparents, it can weaken intergenerational bonds between the families of the non-custodial parent of the child. This finding must be qualified in certain respects. In a substantial minority of cases, the grandparents continue to see the child on a fairly regular basis. If the non-custodial parent maintains regular contact with the child, then the link to the grandparents is often preserved. Even when contact slackens between the outside parents and child, the grandparents typically continue to see the child if they live close by and maintain reasonably amicable relations with the custodial parents are committed to preserving these intergenerational ties; some even continue to see the child if they live close be and maintain reasonably amicable relations with the custodial parent. Most custodial parents are committed to preserving these intergenerational ties; some even continue to regard their former in-laws as their relatives because they are the child’s kin. Despite these commitments, relation between the non-custodial grandparents and their grandchildren are rarely as active as they might have been had the divorce not occurred. Their children who personally witness all this stressful events will definitely developed problem even how supple they may be. Usually the end result of these experiences has resulted to another social problem such as juvenile delinquencies, in the research most this young offenders is product of broken family. For they have experience fears of betrayal, abandonment, loss and rejection. They also developed less capability to developed and maintain supportive relationship since they have fear of experiencing divorce in their future families. So what can we do if this matter is inevitable, if your kids are old enough to understand your situation talk to them and explain everything, resolve divorce-related anxiety and confusion. Let them express their feeling on this matters, always be there for them. Let them know they are loved and they will never be neglected even their parents are now separated. Though divorce and re-marriage are socially acceptable and commonplace in American society, but remarriage is an incomplete institution. The rights and obligations of parents and stepchildren in reconstituted families are open to negotiation and interpretation. The same holds for relationships between step-grandparents and their step-children. There are no social norms of inheritance for step-grandchildren or for grandchildren who have been estranged through divorce and custody battles. Many say the older Americans must now confront stepgrandparenting issues without clear cut norms or role-models. The result is that their estate planning is often tentative and confused not a situation which lends itself to easy communication with heirs of beneficiaries. During the separation and divorce process and continuing for at least a year after divorce, single mothers are often preoccupied with their own depression, anger or emotional needs and are unable to respond sensitively to their children. We hypothesize that such dysfunctions in maternal adjustment result in a lowered tolerance of the child’s behavior, which directly impacts maternal perceptions are a product of both the child’s behavior and the parent’s tolerance level. It appears plausible that depression influences individual differences between parents in their tolerance for a range of child behaviors. Clinical symptoms that covary with depression, such as distractibility and insomnia, may increase the probability that single mother will selectively attend to relatively low frequency inappropriate behavior, creating impressions of the children’s adjustment that are not warranted by objective counts of behavior. Alternately, parental depression and distress may increase attention to relatively high frequency non-complaint behaviors that were not interpreted as bothersome prior to the onset of personal distress. On a behavior level, changes in perceptions may result in the disproportionate use of ineffective child-management strategies and authoritarian control at a time when parents seek to limit interactions with their children. By contrast, divorce frequently intensifies the child’s bonds with the custodial parent’s family. Often, the parent turns to relatives for help at the time of divorce. Divorce is a smidgen of an emotional roller coater ride, it consist of variation of mixed emotions. One minute you are relieved that your traumatic quarrel has finally ended and the next minute you’re feeling panic-stricken about how you are going to survive financially. Yes as mention above it is something negative for it has a great impact to both parents and their children. The above mentioned effects is their children ways of fighting against the sadness of the loss, against the anxiety of helplessness, as warding off threatening aspects of the self and as defiance against the abandonment. Divorce is also a change in the development of a family. In reality there are relationships that suffer in domestic violence, for in most of these cases, the children would almost certainly have greatly affected so if they file for divorce their children will also have benefited from the parents staying together,† These are the cases for which it makes sense to talk about negative consequences of divorce. For persons whose parents had high conflict marriages, it makes sense to talk about negative consequences of failed parental marriages, but the divorces themselves may typically lessen those consequences. This type is called good divorce, the agreeable divorce that avoids pitfalls such as involving children in parental disagreement. It has been reflected to avoid or significantly lessen the unhelpful consequences on children, supporting the notion that divorce itself is less imperative than the way parents handle it. Though, this is not relatively proper in terms of the effects on children for it still have impact on their personalities, it is a better option than continuously suffer on this kind of situation. Managing a relationship is one of the hardest tasks we encounter in our lives; each person has its own characteristics, identity and views in life. Combining two unique personalities sometimes may result to clash; especially when the issues involve touches one’s values or principles. So when people involve feels abuse or being hurt the argument is whether you should incline to divorce or stick to the values on keeping one family and resolving its differences. Accepting one’s view or personality is the key sign on how you should think and behave, in the process of psychotherapy being you need to take every thing slowly. For many people who ask for opinion in such matter doesn’t want to take what is most suitable for the situation they only want to hear what they prefer to hear. Or sometimes they already knew what to do but they just want permission for them to pursue their plans. Maturity is one of the bases of a successful marriage, as an adult you should know better what will benefit y our family, why continue acts that you know bothers your partner, both of you must have communication for you to settle issues that matters in your relationship. With that conversation, you should be able to explain why you have been doing such act, you should be able to scrutinize the root of this behavior, both of you must recognize if such act can be change for the better or just accept it as it was for you both think that it has no solution. If in case that you agree that it has to be eliminated, partners must support each other in taking this task. While if there are no choice would you go for changing of one’ partner to the interest of your spouse no matter what is your decision it really depends on you since you are the only one involve her. I believe no trouble in this world that can’t be resolved in a diplomatic communication. The impact of divorce varies across the dimensions of the relationship and generally differs for sons and daughters. However parents own earlier lack of custody for their now adult children matters importantly: Compared to parents with continuous childhood custody, non-custodial parents report less closeness to their adult children. This finding suggests that a pathway should be added to the model, a direct connection between parental divorce and subsequent intergenerational ties. The norms governing remarried parents and what they owe to children from their previous marriages are even more ambiguous. The most revealing data on how little reciprocity there is between remarried parents and their children from prior marriages. The attitudes of divorced parents and those of step grandparents are ambivalent at best. This is why divorce and remarriage may well be creating vast numbers of heirs and spares. When in comes to changing one’s self, I personally think that there is nothing wrong with it as long it wont hurt your partner, if this is for the betterment of your partner then why not. It doest mean that when you do the same interest of your partner you will follow him on what he’s been doing for example in the case of this study when the wife complain of his husband attitude on reading while having dinner and the adviser told her to do the same. This is possible but such act needs proper places like I have said communicate then tell your husband to act adequately so that you two won’t have any trouble. The focal relationship is between offspring divorce and subsequent intergenerational family ties. From this perspective, having been a non-custodial parent during the childhood of one’s now adult children occupies the role of antecedent variable. Parental divorce to adult children’s divorce, they do not explicitly report effects of parental divorce on intergenerational family ties, the probable presence of this connection is revealed by bringing together results from these two studies. Divorce affects contact with parents among daughters but not among sons. Specifically, divorced daughter with custody of children visit and talk to parents on the telephone more often than married daughter; remarried daughters talk to parents on the telephone slightly less often than married daughters. Divorce and remarriage are weakening the intergenerational cement in many families, but other social and demographic changes have the opposite effect as they strengthen intergenerational linkages and make families more cohesive. Perhaps the single most important change is the increased life expectancy of the U. S. population. The impact has been especially pronounced in middle-income and upper-income families, the very families which were most likely to be evasive about inheritance. There will be more communication about inheritance in such families because the graying of America has produced new reciprocities and obligations between aging parents and their adult children. Marriage, divorce and remarriage are part of reorganization process that entails a series of major changes in the family. The cleavages created in the nuclear family during this dynamic period have ramifications that affect the kinship system and ultimately the status of the older generation. It is also likely that divorced individual receive fewer supports from family and friends than do the widowed. Intergenerational patterns are disturbed, they are likely than married their counterpart to be available to their children and grandchildren, some of whom are also likely to be divorced. It is not possible to quantify the impact of such intergenerational effects on the prospects for divorce rates. The dissolution of marriage is unlikely to be the realization of some lifetime plan, but rather a consequence of disappointed expectations. The high rates of dissolution in the first few years of marriage support this view. In a relationship one’s sovereignty in the family is respected by both partners, it was never like before that man is the only have the autonomy, yes we do have changes now but still some values are still intact and must be observed. But also we must be aware that these changes are one of the reasons why we have numerous divorces in the country, if only the people will accept and understand each other these things won’t happen. Sometimes also we can find oneself by other person, we discover some of our capabilities in dealing with other person. There is a cliche in a relationship that one person is complete when they find they partner in life, so it only means that in some ways husband and wives are connected with each other. But it is different when the marriage is arrange and if things wont go well, couple in this situation often resolve to divorce, so to prevent this from happening even if the marriage is fix, the couple must be given an due time to know each other better and let them fall in love the natural way, with this solution factors such adultery, abuse and other marital problem can be prevented. Another factor, which is idyllic to our culture, is mutuality. We don’t accept notion that compromise to the abuse of women, equality is vital so that selfish partners can be eradicate. Though some wives are defenseless and they require rescue from other person this is under special case that another issue will tackle, but it will surely end up forcing self-assertion to filing a divorce. However even we acknowledge the disgust in divorce, in reality we have a thousand of cases allover the nation, and because of this it represent our values with regards with our modern marriages. Thorough studies of one self-entrusting our principles with all the ambiguity and we are able to put up with the system. Being in love or have been or might think you will be in time is what matters most for love is continuous passion and understanding, sweeping off your feet. Value the investment of emotion, the time you spent together and those creative efforts you both have put into your relationship. Intimacy must always be intact along with your values that would help in developing your relationship for the better and controlling all the problems that you may encounter. Remember that God bonds your relationship so you must value it. Reference: Mclanahan, S. Bumpass, L. (1988). Intergenerational Consequences of Family Disruption.. The American Journal of Sociology. 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